Just Turn Around- Yom Kippur

Part of the morning reading for Yom Kippur is taken from Ahrei Mot, describing the ritual of Yom Kippur.  As part of Aaron’s preparation, he must first do teshuvah for himself.  The haftarah reading, from Isaiah, speaks of the path to teshuvah.  It comforts us saying that if we only turn to God and the mitzvot that God will be there to accept us.  We merely need to turn around.

Still, just the telling that God will be there if we only turn to him is not a recipe for success.  Even knowing how to do something, we may still have trouble accomplishing it. 

Yom Kippur afternoon we read the book of Jonah.  Jonah is a story that illustrates teshuvah.  It teaches that the path to teshuvah is not direct.  Jonah runs, arriving in Tarshish, and boards a ship, reminiscent of Adam and Eve hiding from God in Eden.  Quickly realizing that it is impossible to hide from God, Jonah has the sailors throw him overboard.  He is willing to sacrifice himself for their safety.  God is connected to Jonah through this act of teshuvah, but Jonah is still not ready to make the full turn.  Jonah still needs to hit rock bottom, to be taken to the depths of despair, illustrated by Jonah’s existence in the belly of a great fish.  When Jesse was a child, he used to refer to the bottom of the sea as the deep, dark depths.  The deep, dark depths is a great analogy for Jonah’s place in the belly of the whale.  From here he turns to God, ready to follow through.  The fish spits him back on dry land, and Jonah continues on his journey to Nineveh.  He follows God’s command, announcing his prophecy, and heads off to watch the results.  But teshuvah is not a straight path.  Jonah falls back into despair, putting his own comfort ahead of the welfare of all of Nineveh in his heart, dipping back to despair and heading out again.

Jonah is a lesson not to lose face.  Teshuvah is not a straight path.  We do not wake one day to move from darkness to light, never to see the darkness again.  It’s a reminder that to be human is to live in a cycle.  There are times when we feel like we are in those depths, existing in the belly of the fish.  When we are prepared to call out, help will answer.  We may lose our way, but we are never so far that we cannot return. 

“Lo hayu yamim tovim l’Yisrael khamisha asar b’Av u’hYom HaKipporim.”  “There were never such joyous days for Israel as the 15^th of Av and Yom Kippur” (Mishnah Ta’anit 4:6)  All we need to do is remember to turn back around.

Va'anachnu Koreim

There's an old joke that goes like this-

Seudah Shlishit, Aleinu, and the mamzer all go to God with complaints.  Seudah Shlishit goes first.  "God, I'm just as important as any other Shabbat meal, yet no one really cares about me.  They're all looking to the end of Shabbat, and their plans for the week."  Aleinu follows.  "God, I have the same problem.  I am an important prayer, yet no one cares.  They're all taking off their tallitot and thinking about kiddush."  The Mamzer finishes.  "God, what about me?  It wasn't even my sin.  I did nothing wrong.  Why should I be punished?"  God thinks for a moment and replies.  "Seudah Shlishit, don't worry.  You may not be a big meal, but the most poignant songs will be sung during your time.  The Jews will actually lament the ending of Shabbat.  Aleinu, you will be placed in the High Holiday repetition, and will have a tune that strikes the heart of the Jew.  And to the mamzer God says, 'You, you will be the president of the synagogue.'"

It's an unfair joke, and I have had the pleasure and honor of knowing many good people who gave of themselves fully to be the synagogue president, but it does make a point about Aleinu.  At the Yamim Noraim, the Days of AWE, Aleinu takes it's original place in the heart of the musaf repetition.  It's tune is m'sinai, meaning it either came for Sinai with the Torah, or is so old that it seems as if it has been carried in the Jewish heart that long.  It is a deserved reputation, but Aleinu here means so much more.

Va'anachnu koreim umishtachavim umodim, but we bow, and worship, and thank...


During the year we bend our knees and bow at these words.  On the Yamim Noraim the hazzan (and others, including me) falls to his/her knees then bows his/her head to the floor.  It is a humbling experience.  Aleinu, it is upon us, lshabeach l'Adon hakol, to praise the Lord of everything.  Here we stand three days a year and act that out before the supreme God.  It is more than words, more than tunes we sing.  On these three days we worship with our full bodies, humbling ourselves before God.


Humbling, only through falling koreim have I begun to understand this word.  Standing in a room with hundreds of others, caring not for how I look, but falling to the ground before God- Va'anachnu koreim umishtachavim, but we bow, and worship... it is an experience I cannot describe but with this one word- humbling, umodim, and thank- and I thank God for the experience of it.

A Sweet Year

At least five years ago I was driving home along the NYS Thruway.  I stopped at a rest stop where a local vendor was selling jams, chutneys, and honey.  I was struck by the dark color of the buckwheat honey he had, and bought a jar.  I thought it'd be interesting to have a different honey for Rosh Hashanah.  As the Hag approached we found some local honey here too.  We put it, the buckwheat honey, and some Billy Bee in separate bowls, and a new tradition was born- The Gorman Rosh Hashanah Honey Tasting.

It turns out that honeys are very different. Each year the assortment grows.  Honeys have very distinct colors and flavors.  We try for a range of color, and compare each year.  Everyone chooses his/her favorite.  By the way buckwheat honey smells and tastes like hay.  The kids asked why we always have it if no one really likes it.  I think it's cool- dark and musky.  Sean likes the strangeness it brings to the honey palette.  He told the kids that someday they'll also have the bottle of buckwheat honey to use from year to year, and when their kids ask they will say, "Because my mother always had one."  Minhag avoteihem b'yadeihem (their parents' custom is in their hands).

This year we had nine different honeys:
1. Israeli sisyphus (aka Middle Eastern acacia) blossom
2. Israeli citrus blossom
3. Israeli wildflower
4. Buckwheat (a must every year)
5. Indian wildflower (with a deep caramel flavor)
6. Canadian summer blossom
7. Canadian wildflower
8. Blueberry
9. Manuka (Australian)

I'd planned the three Israeli, blueberry, and buckwheat, but Jesse insisted we use all the types we had in the house.  The first twenty minutes of the meal are all about the honey.  We've had other Canadian honeys from multiple farmers' markets.  We've had Greek.  We've had Australian acacia (different than the Israeli).  Each has its own distinct taste and color, noticible only when lined up.  Some years we've put them all in clear glass to see the range.  This year each had it's own distinct bowl, with a list to keep them straight.

With such an auspicious beginning, how can the year be anything but sweet?!

Out of the Mouths of Babes- It's what we make of it

Erev Rosh Hashannah t'fillot at the Pride were early, too early for us to get everything we needed to do done.  So, with over an hour to the Hag, Sean, his parents, and our two younger children headed off to shul, leaving Jesse and me to finish in a blissfully quiet house.  

First we both got to speak with my brother, to whom I do not speak often enough.  It's great to be the fly on the wall while my children speak with him.  This day they were talking about the trumpet, which Russell played in school, and Jesse is just beginning.  After they finished their conversation Jesse set the table.  He did a lovely job- china (complete with bread plate for the honey), crystal, utensils, and cloth napkins.  Jesse just laid the napkins on each plate in a pile.  When I began to fold them he stopped me.  "No Eema.  They're supposed to be like that.  It's whatever people make of it, just like the new year."  Wow.  Out of the mouths of babes.

Ha'azeinu- What would you say? How would you change?

Rabbi J. Hertz, in the Hertz Chumash, begins his commentary with the observation that Moshe begins and ends his ministry with a song of the greatness of God.  Unfortunately, his observation ends there.   Rabbi Hertz fails to elaborate on the comparison.  The differences between the songs should not, however, be overlooked.

On the shores of Yam Suf, usually translated as the Red Sea, Moshe’s song is one of military victory.  It is a song sung by all the people together.  “Az yashir Moshe u’vnei Yisrael…”  “Thus sang Moshe and the children of Israel…” Together we sang for the glorious military victory God had just won over the Egyptians.  “Ashirah LA-donai ki gaoh ga’ah; sus v’rokhvo ramah vayam.” Together we sang, “I will sing to A-donai for he is surely exalted; horse and rider He has thrown into the sea.”  This is even the verse repeated by Miriam as she leads the people in song and the women in a victory dance. On the shores of the sea, leading a downtrodden people, the message is clear- A-donai ish milchamah, A-donai is a man of war.” 

Here now, in Ha’azinu, on the banks of the Jordan River, as the people ready themselves for a military campaign, it is only Moshe that sings.  Furthermore, his song is not about the Ish Milchamah, the Man of War, but about faithfulness.  This song is not a song of victory.  It is not a song of might for the enemies we are about to encounter.  Instead, Moshe sings to the heaven and earth itself.  Much like at Sinai, the land and the elements are witness to what is to be.  On the eve of this great military campaign, Moshe reminds the people that God is faithful and so shall we be.  “Hatzur tamim poalo, ki kol d’rakhav mishpat; Eil ehmunah v’ein avel, tzadik v’yashar Hu.”  “The Rock is perfect in His work, for all His ways are law; a God of faithfulness without blemish, righteous and just is He.”  We have not been an easy flock, and are warned that any corruption will be ours. 

No longer the leader beginning a journey with the Song of the Sea, Ha’azinu is Moshe’s ethical will to the people Israel.  How many of us know, as Moshe did, that the words we say may be our last. Imagine what we might say if we knew they were our last words.  The song ends with Moshe entreating the people, “All the words I testify to you today, that you may charge your children to guard to do all the words of this Torah….  For it is your life.”

“And God spoke to Moshe during that same day saying, “Go up this mountain of Avarim, Mount Nevo… and die on this mountain that you go up and be gathered unto your people…For you shall see the land across, but you will not come to the land which I gave to the children of Israel.”

Gmar hatimah tovah.  May we all be bound up in the Book of Life.  Together we pray for a shanah tovah umetukah, a good and sweet year.