The Big Lie in My Nation's Capitol

I have always been respectful of differing opinions. I try very hard to avoid politics on social media. Today's attack on the US Capitol is NOT differing opinions. It is an insurrection. The continuing support of statements by President Trump that President-elect Biden and the Democrats are trying to steal the election is NOT a different opinion. It is a Big Lie. The Big Lie is a tactic designed by Hitler and Goebbels to perpetrate their crimes. Continuing to claim this Big Lie while calling, on Twitter, for calm is a facade. President Trump with one hand stokes the fire with this Big Lie while whispering for calm. 

Let us NOT be mistaken as to who is leading this insurrection against our legally and democratically elected government. These are hate groups who would undermine all principles for which the United States stands. Nooses, t-shirts branded with "Camp Auschwitz" and Nazi salutes (I witnessed this during the live feed, shocking me to my core) illustrate this. 

Our Statue of Liberty is the Mother of Exiles bearing these words: 

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
"Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she
With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,

I lift my lamp beside the golden door!

Those who support this illegal insurrection, align themselves with bigots, Nazis and other hate groups, and those who know not the true ideals of our nation. They stand with those who would see my family and other minorities dead. They deny the strength of our nation, the multitudes who immigrated and built our nation. They stand by violence over the rule of law. And, like those who stood by allowing sinat chinam to cause the Second Temple to be destroyed, they stand with those who would see our great nation fall. 

I have never feared before. But today, seeing a Nazi salute given on the lawn outside the Capitol my heart cried out, and fear struck me to my core. 

When I was a teen, a popular discussion was revolved around the question, "If America and Israel were at war who would you support?" It was never a question. The nations I love, my nations, shared foundational values that could not be at war with each other. Israel is not part of this discussion, but I am witnessing a change in my fellow citizens. I thank those leaders who stood by the Constitution and US values to verify the 2020 election. We won't all agree on many things, but we love the United States and the rule of law. Today my heart bled, but tonight I will hold on to hope that these people will prevail, that our nation will heal, and that I, and my children, will feel safe again in the nation of our birth, the nation we love.

Ending a Year of (Not Really) Saying Kaddish

Tomorrow is my mother's yahrtzeit. 

2020 was supposed to be a good year. A year when Gavi started university. A year when Jesse and Keren were graduating university and high school. A year when Mom was supposed to finish chemo and get her life back. But instead, it would be a year of Kaddish. 

2020 began with a New Year's Day trip to New Jersey, just 2 days after arriving home, to possibly say goodbye to Mom. The trip ended settling her in home hospice care with two wonderful nurses with her around the clock. Home again January 9. After the longest ten days of my life (which is saying something ten months into a pandemic lockdown), Sunday evening, January 19, around 7:00 PM, Mom passed away. 

Wednesday, January 22 we said our final goodbyes. A split shiva in Merrick, Monroe Township, and Toronto, and the cycle of Kaddish began. Each morning I drove Keren to school and went across the street for Shacharit and Kaddish. Each evening I went to minyan in the synagogue where my office is or I came home and went with Sean. I didn't ever sleep in. I sent a note to Mirvish Productions explaining that I would not be renewing our theatre subscription, but it wasn't because I didn't want to. 

Just as everything closed down, after Keren's school closed, after Gavi vacated his dorm, leaving, as Jesse and Sean drove cross-country, I skipped minyan and Kaddish one morning to take our cat Gandalf to the hospital. He never came home. Acute kidney failure. That same week synagogues shut down. 

For a few weeks, maybe a month or so, there was no minyan, no place to say Kaddish. Then synagogues began to set up Zoom, then streaming. Kaddish moved online. 

I've written before about my experience with Kaddish online. I don't like it. My year has not be the comfort within a community that meant so much after my father died. But meaningful or not, it ends tomorrow. Tomorrow, I will be in shul, not online, in shul, with nine other people - masked and disinfected, most of us saying Kaddish. 

And that last Kaddish, especially because it will be in shul, especially because I will be standing with others, but so far away, especially because we're all in this together, that last Kaddish will make up for everything that came before.

With my prayers tomorrow morning I will say a prayer that next year on Mom's yahrtzeit I won't be masked, I won't be distant. I will be standing with friends and family, with my community, and we'll say goodbye one more time together.