Why is it that Netflix (and others) think that leaving religious life is entertainment. Yes, fundamentalism can be dangerous. Yes, it’s important that individuals who want to leave fundamental groups believe there is a means to leave. Yet, these shows, even as Batsheva (the eldest daughter in My Unorthodox Life) explains that she’s found a way to Judaism her way, these shows cash in on denigrating religion. This show opens with Batsheva and Ben talking about how her kallah teacher (a teacher who is supposed to teach you about sex, niddah - the laws regarding menstruation - and marriage) couldn’t even say the word “sex.”
There are a number of positive messages about life that come through, but is are just as many negative nonsense about Judaism that gets highlighted. If the show is “My Unorthodox Life” about Julia Hart, why begin with Batsheva and Ben sharing about their sexual knowledge, and why insert difficult moments between them out of context and between unrelated moments of Julia’s life if not for the shock value?
Tisha B’Av teaches us that sinat chinam, causeless hatred, brought about the destruction of our ancient Temple, burned our Sanctuary, and exiled us from our land. (Gittin 56a) But that’s not the end of the story. The text teaches us that the Rabbis were trying to work out a solution, but Rabbi Zekharya ben Avkolas responded to each suggestion with a reason the solutions couldn’t work. It concludes with a statement that his extreme exactitude (his inflexible take on halakhah) of that destroyed our Temple. The issues aren’t religiousness versus non-religiousness. The issue is a complete disregard of choice, of difference, and of respect. What message is being given when Miriam tells her sister she thinks Ben isn’t good for Batsheva, and when Batsheva’s and Ben’s conflict, about which they did not ask for an opinion from Julia, gets a comment that Ben’s opinion is “stupid.”
What if the positives were stressed without the negatives? What if this story was told through a lens of respect. What if examples like, “there are rules for which shoe your supposed to put on first” were given in context?
Here’s a challenge to Netflix - what about creating a show that illustrates religion in a reasonable manner? What about a show that displays how observers of a particular religion demonstrates how Judaism (or other religions) say what can we do instead of what can’t we do? Give me a show that features Jewish military chaplains. Give me a show that features us living a flexible and modern Jewish life instead of Jews who left everything Jewish behind.
Netflix, I can help. I’ll be waiting for that call.
