It seems Sean and I have spent the last year and a half traveling past each other, literally with USCJ and the Navy- frustrating, but doable, tiring, but doable.
Somehow the past two reserve trips were different. I can only attribute this to the pending deployment.
It's four days, just four days, and at a chaplains' conference in Atlanta. Still, it's different.
First the normal reaction- I don't sleep, maybe four hours a night. The lack of sleep leads to an excess of adrenaline and a sometimes jumpy pulse. From past experiences the sleeplessness lasts just over two weeks. There's nothing I can do for normal reserve time, but it's a comfort to know it won't last the whole deployment.
Again, this four day trip is different. There's a weariness that set in as Sean said goodbye on Sunday. Usually I sort of sleep through these goodbyes. I mumble, "I love you. Safe trip." It started the same way, but wakefulness arrived with Sean's squeeze of my fingers. Those who know me know 6:20 AM is not an hour I often see, yet there I was, wide awake, waiting until I could wake the kids and run our errands. There's a strange feeling in my heart, a worry, an emotional twinge I can't quite put my finger on. It's just Atlanta, just a chaplains' conference. Yet....
