Split Personality & Stream of Consciousness- Lessons from Blogging

Blogging has taught me some lessons.


1. Some people have situational personalities.

              I have one personality.  I am the same at home and in the office.  I am the same in the classroom or at shul.  Yes, there are times when I have to be "on."  I have realized that I am a public figure, and so I change out of my gardening clothes to run to Home Depot, even though I'm changing right back when I get home.  I am conscious that people are looking at me in the most unusual places.  Of course in shul, but I am also RABBI when I pick up my kids, do the shopping, or even kick-box.  Still, if you were to spend an afternoon at my house, you'd realize that what you see is what you get.

                    My husband has different personalities. I don't think it's conscious.  There's Sean the joker.  That's Sean at his heart.  This personality shows up in every other one.  It's the one that make (extremely bad) puns from the bima.  The one who had the gall to say to a congregation, standing after the Amidah, "As I said to my garden, 'please be seeded.'"  If you don't get it, say it out loud.  It is uncontrollable.  One of my funniest afternoons was watching Sean try very, very, very hard not to comment at a staff meeting.  I thought he was going to explode.  

                    But there's also the very professional Rabbi Sean.  He is an amazing rabbi, perceptive, kind, and sympathetic.  He is very good at what he does, balancing the ridiculous puns with  a kind heart that reaches out to people.  This is the Sean who does hospital visits, funerals, and shiva calls, and does them well.  This is the Sean that inspires.

                    There's also Chaplain Sean.  I've been watching this Sean for a long time.  His posture changes when he dons the uniform.  Beyond that, he has "Chaplain Voice."  It's a tone and a syntax.  It's similar to "Rabbi Voice," very professional, even amidst the jokes.  Interestingly, Chaplain Sean has a slight southern lilt.  It's so funny since he's New York through and through at other times.  Still, it's definitely there.

                    There are other pieces- Wonderful Abba, Loving Husband, Devoted Son/Son-in-law.  And of course, they all overlap.  He's not Sybil, with one personality becoming subservient to the others.  Together they make up a very complex individual, who pulls out what he needs in each situation.

2. Drivel is still fun to write, and fun to read.

                      Who would have thought people would want to read this stuff, but they do.  Yes, some is educational.  Some is moving.  But much is my stream of consciousness thoughts that pour out when I get a chance.  It's this stream of consciousness thinking that has me blogging 3-4 entries in a sitting, then nothing for days or weeks.

                      This shouldn't surprise me.  I am the great lover of trashy novels.  I do not mean  poorly written romances.  Yes, I do read romances.  I read sci-fi.  I read mysteries.  I read fantasy, and drama, and comic writing.  My one requirement is that it be well-written.  My 11th grade English teacher, Mrs. Bendle, told us it's okay to read Danielle Steel as long as we recognize what we're reading.  She liked to read the New York Post.  She said it was because they really knew how to tell a story.  All these many years later, that is a lesson that stayed with me.  Read what you enjoy.  Just recognize what it is, and don't be ashamed.  On my night table are three books currently: The Book of Awesome, Fifty Shades Freed (now that Sean is finished with it), and Ender's Game.  On the shelf underneath are: 3 children's books- Little New Angel, What the Moon Brought, and Oh Brother, Oh Friend, How to Talk So Your Kids Will Listen, Square Foot Gardening, Morality for Muggles, and Anne of Green Gables, and a Humash.  I couldn't come up with a more varied collection if I tried.

3. Sean & I have different, yet complementary goals in life.

                I said this elsewhere, but it bears repeating.  Sean's goal in life seems to be making people laugh.  He has taken the Mishnah from Pirkei Avot, Greet Everyone with a Cheerful Face, and interpreted it in his own way.  He announces himself when entering a store, "Hi!  I'm Here!"  People smile to be near him, even if groaning in pain from his puns.  Maybe it's because we are groaning in pain.  

                       I decided as a child to follow that same Mishnah, and I hadn't even learned it yet.  I remember looking out the back window of our car, a Dodge Dart.  We were driving in Manhattan, and I was people watching.  There were no seat belt laws then, and I was on my knees, facing backward.  It was a grey day, and people weren't smiling, so I decided to make them smile.  I began to smile and wave at everyone.  Now, who can avoid smiling when a small child is smiling and waving at you.  As I grew older, I realized that we pay smiles forward.  Once we are smiling, we tend to smile at others.  They start to smile, and so on and so on.  I still do it.  I smile and greet people on the street.  I smile at people in the market.  I smile at people on the bus.  I like to say hello to strangers.  Greet people with a cheerful face.  Pay it forward, and you find that you feel happy too.

                       It's not the same in practice, but the end result spreads a little more happiness in the world, and if that's what Sean and I do, whether for our friends, in our rabbinate, or to the greater world through our blogs, then what a wonderful world this will be.

4. Spellcheck is not enough.  

                      No matter how many times I spell check and reread, I will still have mistakes.  Tonight I have made 3 corrections to this post alone, after posting.  It is a reminder that no matter what I do, no matter how good I am, I am still imperfect.  This is okay.  Please forgive and have patience with my mistakes.   If you find them, I am happy to correct them.

Now I'm really going to sleep... Well, maybe after I read just a bit.