Most Sunday mornings I wake slowly, and grab the book off my night table. It's a quiet time, and I like to use it to read while my body slowly wakes up. Gavriel wakes during this time. He comes in to join me, and we sit together and read. We've been known to spend an hour or more cuddling and reading. At some point Jesse will wake up, and suddenly then noise level in the house quadruples. Somehow he makes the noise increase exponentially. He will play the piano, often the Soviet or Russian national anthem (Yes, there is a difference. He's explained it to us); he bugs Keren, or he knocks around in the kitchen. Keren will sit in her room reading (that is until Jesse comes to bug her).
This morning I woke. I grabbed my book ("Why Does E=MC2"), and read for about 15 minutes. Gandalf & Nora each came by to be petted. I checked Jesse's Farmville farms (as he asked me to do while he's away). Then I got up to daven. My day seemed to begin much earlier without my Gavi time. Sean called, and I was already awake. Bev came by (yeah). Still it's been mostly unproductive. I am wallowing in the quiet. I walked two miles on the treadmill. I ate breakfast and lunch. I put a few things away, and I am vegging in front of the TV with no one to tell me what s/he wants to watch. There are no arguments to referee. No breakfast to make but my own (golden zucchini and onion omelet).
It's strangely quiet in my house. I could get used to this.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Empty Nesting
Our children left for camp on Monday. It's always interesting watching them get on and off the bus. Their personalities really come out.
As we drove into the parking lot to meet the bus, Keren saw a friend, and yelled, "There's ..." As soon as I parked, she was out and off with her friends, ignoring us completely until the time came to board the bus. Then she wandered back, looking slightly distraught as she realized she didn't know where we were. However, once she found me and got her hug, she happily hopped on the bus, completely forgetting to say goodbye to Sean. He had to board the bus to find her.
Jesse hung around the car, sitting in the back and reading until boarding time came. He said goodbye to Sean, then came looking for me, condescending to let me hug him. I kissed him too, even though he said not to, and he only whined a little.
Gavriel is another story. He hung around us, not really knowing what to do with himself. He said to me, "Eema, you have to wait until the bus leaves. Last year I waved and waved, but you didn't wave back." I pointed out that the bus windows are so dark that you cannot see who's in the bus. However, I went on the bus to see where he was sitting, and made sure I figured out which shadowy figure on the other side of the window was Gavi. He did wave and wave, and I waved back every time. I did have to leave before the bus. The bus was delayed over forty minutes while waiting for a couple of missing campers, and parents, including me, had to get back to work.
It's that sweetness that I miss when they're away, the need for one more hug or kiss, even when they don't want to admit they want the kiss. It's tucking them in at night, a final hug, an :I love you," and wishes for pleasant dreams.
I know they love camp, and Sean and I are enjoying the time alone, but I still miss my babies.
As we drove into the parking lot to meet the bus, Keren saw a friend, and yelled, "There's ..." As soon as I parked, she was out and off with her friends, ignoring us completely until the time came to board the bus. Then she wandered back, looking slightly distraught as she realized she didn't know where we were. However, once she found me and got her hug, she happily hopped on the bus, completely forgetting to say goodbye to Sean. He had to board the bus to find her.
Jesse hung around the car, sitting in the back and reading until boarding time came. He said goodbye to Sean, then came looking for me, condescending to let me hug him. I kissed him too, even though he said not to, and he only whined a little.
Gavriel is another story. He hung around us, not really knowing what to do with himself. He said to me, "Eema, you have to wait until the bus leaves. Last year I waved and waved, but you didn't wave back." I pointed out that the bus windows are so dark that you cannot see who's in the bus. However, I went on the bus to see where he was sitting, and made sure I figured out which shadowy figure on the other side of the window was Gavi. He did wave and wave, and I waved back every time. I did have to leave before the bus. The bus was delayed over forty minutes while waiting for a couple of missing campers, and parents, including me, had to get back to work.
It's that sweetness that I miss when they're away, the need for one more hug or kiss, even when they don't want to admit they want the kiss. It's tucking them in at night, a final hug, an :I love you," and wishes for pleasant dreams.
I know they love camp, and Sean and I are enjoying the time alone, but I still miss my babies.
Parashat Masei
This week's d'var is excerpted from a piece I wrote for The Women's Haftarah Commentary.
Parashat Masei is the second of the three Shabbatot between Shevasar b’Tammuz, the 17th of Tammuz, and Tisha B’Av, 9th of Av, a period referred to as Bein HaMitzarim. Bein HaMitzarim means “between the straits,” but it is also a reference to labour and childbirth. When a woman is in full, active labour she is said to be bein hamitzarim.
Interestingly, it is not the parshiyot that are connected to this period, but the haftarot. The theme of Haftarot Masei is one of rejection of God’s covenant in favour of sin and idolatry. One might therefore ask, “How is the time leading up to the destruction of Jerusalem and the destruction of the Temple connected to childbirth, which brings life and promise.
In any true labour, there is a point at which events turn towards the end. In childbirth this is called transition. This is a critical time. If things proceed adversely, there will be dire consequences for the mother and fetus. In the middle of the haftarah, Jeremiah, speaking for God, laments, “They left Me, the Source of Living Water, to carve for themselves cisterns, broken cisterns, which cannot hold water.” Here is the transition for this period; in the middle of the middle haftarah we read of Israel’s forsaking God. What especially stands out in this verse is the name for God, Makor Mayyim Hayyim, the Source of Living Water, a name that signifies ribirth and renewal.
Through Jeremiah, God calls out to the people. Here is Bein HaMitzarim; here is the transition, the chance to turn towards our chosen end. When we act as Israel did in Jeremiah, rejecting Makor Mayyim Hayyim, we reject the cycle of holiness, purification, and covenant. We reject our opportunity for renewal in favour of decay. We know from history that this transition takes a turn for the worse. We are left with death and destruction, as follows in the days leading up to the Tisha B’Av.
However, following this time is a seven-week period of nechemta, comfort, of teshuvah, repentance and returning, and rebirth, right up to the Yamim Noraim. We're given a second chance, a chance to turn in another direction, renewing our covenant with God and with each other, with Makor Mayyim Hayyim helping us and enriching the transitions of our lives.
Shabbat shalom.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Parashat Mattot- Where Do You Stand?
Parashat Mattot begins with the laws dealing with vows. It is an appropriate subject for this time of year. In just over a month it will be Elul, the month when we begin our preparations for the Yamim Noraim. Even before Elul we, as a community, spend a lot of time looking inward. This week began the “Three Weeks”. These are the three weeks from Shevasar B’Tammuz, the 17th of Tammuz, to Tisha B’Av, our national day of mourning. But even more important, we are told that on Tisha B’Av the Temples were destroyed due to sinat hinam, senseless hatred within our own community. This period is not meant to be a time of complete mourning, but rather a time to look at our history, at our actions as a community, as a people, and to examine them to see where we have gone wrong and to look towards improving the future.
The Mishnah teaches us that five things befell the Jewish people on the 17th of Tammuz. These are:
1) The sin of the golden calf and the breaking of the first set of tablets of the Law.
2) The Tamid offering ended during the time of the First Temple. This may have been due to an order from the king or due to a shortage of livestock due to war.
3) During the time of the Second Temple, the walls of Jerusalem were breached.
4) Apustamus, a Greek general, burned the Torah. Some say it was the original scroll written by Ezra. Others teach it was many Torah scrolls in an attempt to remove Torah from the Jewish people.
5) An idol was placed upon the altar in the Temple. This may also have been done by Apustamus, but others say it was done by the Jewish king.
These can be viewed as individual tragedies, a twist of chance leading to their occurrence on the same day, or we can view these as connected, and seek to learn from them. Each of these tragedies changes us as a people. From the first sin of worshiping the golden calf, which leads to the breaking of the tablets, and onward, each event further distances us from our connection to God and to a centrally located Judaism. In modern times we have seen some return with the creation of the State of Israel, but have we learned? We still fight among ourselves, many claiming only their interpretation of law is correct. As we begin this period from Shevasar B’Tammuz to Tisha B’Av to Elul and then the Yamim Noraim, we should all think upon our personal connection to each other, to our community, to Israel, and to God and Judaism, and ask ourselves “Where do I stand, and how can I make a difference.”
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Patriotism
I love mythology, all mythology. It teaches about culture and belief. I especially love American mythology. I believe in it. I have drunk the Kool-Aid. Even things that I know to be historically untrue, I believe. I believe that George Washington chopped down his father's cherry tree.
Most years we spend July 4 in the States. It's a good time to travel and is close enough to Canada Day so there are fewer vacation days we need to take.
This year we headed to Shenandoah National Park (http://www.nps.gov/shen/index.htm) with my in-laws. We copped out and glamped (glamour camping), staying in the lodge. National Parks are wonderful. If you ever have a chance to visit a US national park, DO. Make a point to go to the ranger programs. They are usually phenomenal.
Shenandoah was the summer retreat of President Hoover. It is beautiful. It is also close to Monticello, home of Thomas Jefferson, third president of the United States. I'm a big Jefferson fan. We spent a day there, following it up with a trip to the Jefferson Memorial. On Jefferson's headstone he requested that three things be listed as his accomplishments- author of the Declaration of Independence, of the statute of Virginia for religious freedom, and father of the university of Virginia. Thomas Jefferson had a thirst for knowledge. He loved books; a famous quote is simply "I cannot live without books.". And he respected humanity. The statue of him standing like Apollo in his memorial is fitting. He is one of my heroes.
Thomas Jefferson hated prejudice. He hated slavery, yet he had hundreds of slaves. Turns out he was fearful that if freed, slaves would rise up and kill their masters. At his death he freed only five. It was the same argument as Pharoah's. It saddens me to realize this, yet when I think of him I am still in awe. He is my hero, but I also know that he was human. He can embody the man and the myth, and I can believe in them both.
Favorite quotes:
"Those who surrender freedom for security will not have, nor do they deserve, either one."
"The Price of Freedom is Eternal Vigilance."
"Information is the currency of democracy."
"All tyranny needs to gain a foothold is for people of good conscience to remain silent. "
"We in America do not have government by the majority. We have government by the majority who participate."
"Dissent is the highest form of patriotism."
"Do you want to know who you are? Don't ask. Act! Action will delineate and define you."
On this trip south we also visited the home of President Washington, Mount Vernon. It is welcoming, warm and cozy. George Washington also kept slaves, freeing them at his death. He also set most precedents for how the US president acts today, from creating a cabinet, to the president's power to veto, to a two term maximum, and more.
My children are now hoping for a trip to Quincy, home of John Adams, second US president. I am also a huge Adams fan, of him and his wife. In writing to her husband as he served the continental congress she wrote:
"Do not put such unlimited power into the hands of husbands. Remember all men would be tyrants if they could."
and
"...remember the ladies, and be more generous and favorable to them than your ancestors. Do not put such unlimited power into the hands of the Husbands. Remember all Men would be tyrants if they could. If particular care and attention is not paid to the Ladies we are determined to foment a Rebellion, and will not hold ourselves bound by any Laws in which we have no voice, or Representation."
One more historical and patriotic note- When the British were about to attack Connecticut, sixteen year old Sybil Ludington rode 40 miles spreading the alarm, a longer ride than Paul Revere, but she didn't get a poem by Longfellow.
Most years we spend July 4 in the States. It's a good time to travel and is close enough to Canada Day so there are fewer vacation days we need to take.
This year we headed to Shenandoah National Park (http://www.nps.gov/shen/index.htm) with my in-laws. We copped out and glamped (glamour camping), staying in the lodge. National Parks are wonderful. If you ever have a chance to visit a US national park, DO. Make a point to go to the ranger programs. They are usually phenomenal.
Shenandoah was the summer retreat of President Hoover. It is beautiful. It is also close to Monticello, home of Thomas Jefferson, third president of the United States. I'm a big Jefferson fan. We spent a day there, following it up with a trip to the Jefferson Memorial. On Jefferson's headstone he requested that three things be listed as his accomplishments- author of the Declaration of Independence, of the statute of Virginia for religious freedom, and father of the university of Virginia. Thomas Jefferson had a thirst for knowledge. He loved books; a famous quote is simply "I cannot live without books.". And he respected humanity. The statue of him standing like Apollo in his memorial is fitting. He is one of my heroes.
Thomas Jefferson hated prejudice. He hated slavery, yet he had hundreds of slaves. Turns out he was fearful that if freed, slaves would rise up and kill their masters. At his death he freed only five. It was the same argument as Pharoah's. It saddens me to realize this, yet when I think of him I am still in awe. He is my hero, but I also know that he was human. He can embody the man and the myth, and I can believe in them both.
Favorite quotes:
"Those who surrender freedom for security will not have, nor do they deserve, either one."
"The Price of Freedom is Eternal Vigilance."
"Information is the currency of democracy."
"All tyranny needs to gain a foothold is for people of good conscience to remain silent. "
"We in America do not have government by the majority. We have government by the majority who participate."
"Dissent is the highest form of patriotism."
"Do you want to know who you are? Don't ask. Act! Action will delineate and define you."
On this trip south we also visited the home of President Washington, Mount Vernon. It is welcoming, warm and cozy. George Washington also kept slaves, freeing them at his death. He also set most precedents for how the US president acts today, from creating a cabinet, to the president's power to veto, to a two term maximum, and more.
My children are now hoping for a trip to Quincy, home of John Adams, second US president. I am also a huge Adams fan, of him and his wife. In writing to her husband as he served the continental congress she wrote:
"Do not put such unlimited power into the hands of husbands. Remember all men would be tyrants if they could."
and
"...remember the ladies, and be more generous and favorable to them than your ancestors. Do not put such unlimited power into the hands of the Husbands. Remember all Men would be tyrants if they could. If particular care and attention is not paid to the Ladies we are determined to foment a Rebellion, and will not hold ourselves bound by any Laws in which we have no voice, or Representation."
One more historical and patriotic note- When the British were about to attack Connecticut, sixteen year old Sybil Ludington rode 40 miles spreading the alarm, a longer ride than Paul Revere, but she didn't get a poem by Longfellow.
Parashat Pinchas- Blood on his Hands
The division between the parshiyot of Balak and Pinchas is oddly placed. Balak ends with the killing of Zimri and Cozbi by Pinchas and the end of a plague that had killed 24,000 people. It is unusual for a parasha to end on such a negative note. At the beginning of parashat Pinchas God’s anger at the idolatry of the Israelites is abated through this execution. “Pinchas, son of Eleazar, son of Aaron haKohain, has turned back my wrath from the Israelites by displaying among them his passion for Me...”
Jewish scholars throughout history have tried to reconcile this. Different opinions abound. Through the division of the story into two parshiyot, Pinchas’ reward is diminished. The yud in Pinchas’ name is written smaller, representing a diminishing of God’s presence in Pinchas, even though he is granted the priesthood. Other commentators say that the granting of the priesthood is not reward, but a preventive measure against future zealous behaviour.
Whichever commentary we accept, it is clear that with this killing Pinchas is changed. He has blood on his hands. His influence and role among the people will always be coloured by this act. Killing, even within allowable parameters, has always created discomfort in Judaism. The Talmud (Sanhedrin 82a) allows that this killing was legal, but follows with “The law may permit, but we do not follow that law.” Rabbi Yohanan teaches, “A priest who killed a person should not lift up his hands [to say the priestly blessing], since it says, [‘When you spread forth your hands, I will hide my eyes from you; even though you make many prayers, I will not listen;] ‘Your hands are full of blood’ (Isaiah 1:15)” (Berachot 32b). The Shulkhan Arukh expounds upon this, “A priest who killed a person, even inadvertently, should not lift up his hands, even if he has repented.” Although the Rema, the gloss added to the Shulkhan Arukh by Rabbi Moshe Isserles, allows for repentance and return, (Orekh Hayim 128:35) stating, this is our custom.
This idea follows through history. King David, the most beloved of God, is not permitted to build the Temple due to the blood on his hands. In modern times Golda Meir would echo this idea in her often quoted statement, “I can forgive them for killing our children, but I cannot forgive them for making us kill theirs.”
It is understood that violent acts change us, not just us as individuals, but us as a community, a people, and a nation. It is a lesson so many nations have yet to learn.
Shabbat shalom.
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