Vayechi ~ And he lived

Vayechi ~ And he lived

Much like parashat Hayei Sarah, which begins with words “Vay’h’yu hayei Sarah; and it was the life of Sarah” but then speaks of Sarah’s death, parashat Vayechi begins with the words “Vayechi Ya’akov; and Jacob lived” but speaks of Jacob’s dying.  The parasha ends with Joseph’s death as a prince in Egypt.

Parashat Vayechi relate sthe last days and dying words of Jacob.  He speaks with his children, passing on blessings to some, warnings to others.  He draws a promise from Joseph to ensure his proper burial in the ancestral plot of Machpelah. 

Jacob’s death is a time for healing in the family.  Although Jacob’s words may hurt some of his sons, it is a private airing of old wounds and putting the past behind them.  After Jacob’s death, the brothers come to Joseph to once again offer heartfelt apologies.  Joseph ensures them his anger is past.  They are family.  Although they certainly cannot forget the old hurts, they do forgive. 

Death & burial is usually seen as an ending, but it can also be a healing time.  It is a time to put the past behind us, and look to what bonds us together.  It is meant as a time to remember family and roots. 

When Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel, a great Conservative rabbi and scholar, died, his funeral was held at the Jewish Theological Seminary with his immediate family, colleagues, and students with whom he spent his life.  Some surprising attendees were from the Hasidic community.  What was unknown to many at the funeral was that Rabbi Heschel, the closest person to a Conservative rebbe, was descended from rebbes.  Rabbi Heschel’s namesake was his great-grandfather, Rabbi Avraham Yehoshua Heshel of Apt, who was the founder of the Apter hasidim. At the conclusion of the funeral service, the Apters took the aron, the coffin to bury Rabbi Heschel at their plot.  Although Rabbi Heschel was not connected to them for much of his life, the family connection was one that could not be broken.  They would provide to him the ultimate mitzvah of hesed shel emet, caring for the dead.

This remembering is important, but more important is the timing.  It is very hard to forgive when we cannot forget. Our tradition teaches that Joseph was the first of the brothers to die.  After Jacob’s death they had 70 years of forgiveness, considered a full life in tradition.  They did not wait until death to make peace.  Hesed shel emet is considered the ultimate mitzvah, one that cannot be paid back. Still, teshuvah, returning, and s’licha, forgiveness, have a much greater reach in meaning.  With it we can have an entire life together.

May this be a year of shalom, s’licha, teshuvah, and tikvah (hope).