Sunday, November 30, 2014

The Sad Lament of the Forgotten Pumpkin (or Pumpkin Suicide)

A sad event occurred in our home tonight. One of our pumpkins committed suicide. "Suicide?" you ask.  Yes.

Sean had just returned from minyan. The house was quiet. Suddenly, we heard a loud thud; each of us looking around trying to discern whence it came. Gavi was the first to discover the tragedy. "Who's throwing pumpkins?" he asked us. We all came running.


The pumpkin had leapt from the side table onto the living room floor, cracking open and scattering pumpkin bits as far as six feet away. At first we wondered if it had been a gourd-icide, but no one had been in the immediate vicinity at the time of death. There were two pumpkins sitting side by side. Perhaps the second had pushed the first. But no.



On examination we discovered the still living pumpkin had not budged an inch. Without arms, it could not have been involved. We had to conclude suicide. We believe an internal rot had begun to effect the pumpkin's heart. It could no longer go on as it was.

The pumpkin now sits in the kitchen awaiting autopsy. I expect tomorrow's procedure will confirm our initial findings. I also expect it to be delicious (the good parts that is).

Looking forward to pie, soup, and more.