Sunday, November 2, 2014

Weird Things Couples Fight About

A while ago, during the time I couldn’t sit at a computer for more than 3-5 minutes, a very funny video circulated on Youtube.  It was a dramatization of “Dumb Things Couples Fight About.” The list wasn’t long, but it was comprehensive. The topics were:
  • Folding towels
  • Noise while eating (how someone eats)
  • Toilet paper
  • Toothpaste tubes
  • Actors
  • Leftovers
  • Ordering takeout
  • Dishwasher
  • Movies
  • The sink/dishes
  • Shoes

The video is silly, but wonderfully illustrative. And yes, Sean & I have “discussed” each of these items at some time or another.
  • Folding towels- For years I adapted our towel folding to best suit the cabinet or closet in which the towels were stored. Sean, however, folded towels in one way, and only one way for at least 15 years. Finally, in our current house, I gave up, and gave in. I started folding the towels in Sean’s way. Why try to fit differently folded towels in a cabinet. Just fold them all the same way, and figure out the best layout. In the last year, Sean, out of the blue, changed the way he folds towels. It just proves there’s no way to win.
  • Eating- The video has the couple arguing over the noise the husband makes while eating. Sean & I argue over serving utensils. I don’t care if it’s only us. Salad should not be served with your hands.
  • Toilet paper- There are two arguments. Which way does the toilet paper go on the roll? And replacing the toilet paper. The first argument is moot since I am the only one (almost) who replaces the toilet paper, and not just in my own bathroom, but the guest bathroom and the kids bathroom too.  What’s up with that?!
  • Toothpaste tubes- Again, I’ve given up. I developed a system to squeeze the tube, using the counter, that flattens it securely.  Once folded, it’s hard to squeeze from the middle. I also found an amazing little item that slides over the bottom of the tube, keeping the toothpaste at the top. 
  • Movies- Watching movies without the other and arguing over who an actor is.  Sean doesn't watch, so the first isn't an argument. The second- that's what imdb is for!
  • Leftovers- A year or two ago, Sean embarked on a mission to make sure all leftovers are finished. He eats them.  Great, except when I planned those for my work lunches that week. I try to tell him. Sometimes I forget, especially when it’s something he only sort of liked, but didn’t love. Why eat it if you don’t really like it? At least say something before finishing it.  Sometimes it’s something I DO really love.
  • Ordering takeout- This can also be deciding what to eat for dinner. Here’s the conversation, “What do you want for dinner? “I don’t care, whatever you want.” I’m going to make pasta.” “I don’t want pasta.” “So, what DO you want?” “Whatever you want.” I make 90% of weekly menus with no help from my husband or children. Why, on the rare nights I haven’t done a menu, is that the conversation?
  • Dishwasher- Why is it that I can get twice as many things into the dishwasher as my children or husband?  ‘Nuff said.
  • The sink/dishes- Is there a reason that when something needs to be put away it is instead placed within 6-12 inches of the pace it goes, but not actually away?! Why does Sean feel a compulsion to empty the dishwasher as soon as it’s done, but will leave dishes on the drain board for weeks on end, even if there is no more room on thd drain board?
  • Shoes- Why am I the only one who puts shoes in the right place. Really, it's not hard.  There's a 4.5 foot shoe rack, and in the winter, an additional boot tray.  This should be simple. But no. Instead there's a pile of shoes in the house. So, everyone's shoes get dirty or wet from the other shoes tossed on top, and worse, they get knocked out of the pile and around the house.  Then it's, "Eema, I can't find my shoes!" So not my fault!

I showed the video to my children. They laughed, but even more so when Sean came home, watched it, and agreed that we have “discussed” each and every one of these issues.

There are other "weird things" videos.  I can't say we do them all, but they're pretty great.

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