Balak- Modesty Versus Privacy

Mah tovu ohalecha Ya’akov mish’k’notecha Yisrael.

How wonderful are your tents Jacob, your dwellings Israel.

This is the famous phrase from parashat Balak. When the prophet Bil’am is called upon by Balak to curse the Israelites, he travels to where he can overlook the camp. However, upon seeing the Israelite encampment, Balak is so overcome that, instead of a curse, he pronounces a blessing. This blessing is so wonderful, it graces the beginning of almost every siddur prior to the start of Shacharit, as a way for us to greet the day when we enter the synagogue. Rabbi Reuven Kimelman, at the time a Brandeis University professor, in explaining our collective decision to recite the words of a foreign prophet upon entering a synagogue, defined the words of Mah Tovu as “It’s good to be in shul!”

What was it that so inspired Bil’am that, upon seeing the encampment, he was unable to fulfill his mission, and curse the Israelites? Midrash teaches that it was the modesty of the people. The tents of the Israelites faced each other, as was the custom of the time, but with an important change. The placement of each tent was staggered, slightly off from the tent it faced. By doing so, no one could look from within on tent into another, thus preserving he modesty of all. Such a society, that went to such lengths to preserve the modesty of even the lowest member of the society was certainly one to be praised instead of cursed.

All too often today individuals lack a sense of modesty. Their exploits, public and personal are splattered across the papers passing for news. This week CNN journalist, Anderson Cooper’s sexuality was made public. He had written a letter to a friend, in which he stated that he was gay. The friend, with permission, posted the letter to his blog, “The Daily Beast”. Mr. Cooper had always kept his private life private. The Globe & Mail reported that he “came to think his remaining silent had given some people a mistaken impression that he was ashamed.” Mr. Cooper was not closeted. He was not ashamed. He was modest and private, confining the details of his private life to those in his intimate circle, family, close friends, and his significant other.

Unfortunately, we live in a society where looking into others’ lives is considered acceptable. Mr. Cooper has been subjected to rumours about his sexual orientation for years. I applaud him for his statement. It is, unfortunately, necessary in our society, which so vilifies individuals for not doing what others think they should be doing, or being what others think they should be. Still, I hope for a time when don’t ask, don’t tell is not an oppressive mandate, but a statement of modesty employed by all.