Deployment requires constant reorganization. First when the service member leaves; then, as time goes on you fall into a routine. As new situations arise this routine needs to be re-evaluated. Whether it's visitors, illness, or holidays (or in our case all three), the schedule needs to shift, to readjust, or to change entirely.
Last week my parents arrived, as they do every year for Thanksgiving, turkey in hand. It's a blessing to have them. The kids are thrilled. It's great to have help. But, it still requires a shift in dynamic. There are two others using the bathroom, two more to feed, two more people to work into the schedule.
Mom's and Dad's arrival coincided with all of us getting sick. We all fell to it like dominos. Mom and Dad being here allowed me to crawl back into bed a couple of days to nurse my cough and headache, getting more sleep than I otherwise could have. Still, we're negotiating the extra people, the eating needs, the computer, and the television.
The third piece is the holiday. Holidays without loved ones, no matter where they are, are difficult.
I've bought into the entire American Mythology. I love the ideals of Thanksgiving. Realizing that historically the first Thanksgiving was nothing like what we learned about in school, the idea of a day of Thanksgiving shared by all citizens is a beautiful one. It is a day that should be shared with family and friends. It's a day of peace and appreciation for what you have. And, like any holiday, it's a day that exacerbates the absence of a loved one.
Our Thanksgiving was quiet. Gavi and Keren were sick. Keren was sleeping. It was a quiet day with my parents. Nice actually, but oh so different from our normal Thanksgiving celebrations. Friday night we did it all again. Shabbat brought a different sense to the family, our first Shabbat since Sean left with extra people at the table.
Hanukah has been a bit more hectic. School and karate still happen. We run home, set up hanukiyot, and eat fried food. Many nights have been later and more hectic, but there are also the calmer, nicer moments. Tonight our fried foods were Chinese chicken wings, spring rolls, and breaded chicken balls. My parents brought Chinese food to the karate studio for dinner so that when we arrived home we could relax.
Two nights into Hanukah, it's not sad, but somehow strange without Sean. The rhythm is off, not bad, but not quite right. It's part of the life. We deal; we adapt; and we move on.
