Hello everyone. If you are not a reader of my husband's blog, let me explain. Sean wrote an entry called, "But I am not Bitter..." This is my side of the story.
Sean & I have been married just over 19 years. We have known each other for 21 years, and have been a couple for 20 of those years. We met in August 1991. I was in a relationship, which lasted until February of 1992. Whenever I was having problems in my relationship, Sean made sure he was there to support me, always telling me everything would work out fine. Little did I know he meant with him. When my relationship ended, Sean was there for me, and just three months later we were engaged. When it's right, it's right.
Fast forward 20 years. It's still right, but no river, however strong, always runs straight. We have our bumps in the road. Interestingly our bumps after 20 years as a couple are generally the same a our bumps after 2 years as a couple. People grow and evolve, but they don't change.
Sean is bitter about two events on our marriage. Two! I say, as I did at Shabbat lunch, it's been over 19 years, get over it!
#1- Wedding cake. Yes, I was wrong. We had a delicious cake. We had two bites. The next morning I did take the cake from my new husband's hands and make him put it back. It was to be romantically shared on our first anniversary. Unfortunately, we weren't available to get it for our first anniversary, as we were at Camp Ramah in the Poconos. They cake was eventually lost to the god of freezer burn.
Anyone who knows me knows I love romance. Give me a good chick book, movie, or play. Sappy? Great! I love a good cry! I wanted to relive the great evening that was our wedding day. It didn't happen, but my heart was in the right place.
By the way, I ordered Sean a special cake for our 15th anniversary, and put our cake topper on top. It wasn't enough. He's still bitter.
#2- Turkey. No, not the food, the country. We spent most of our first married year in Israel. For intersession Sean wanted to go to Turkey. To be affordable, he'd found that we could take a cruise. An affordable cruise? Well, sort of. It was a two day boat ride from Haifa to Izmir. We could reserve two deck chairs. On these deck chairs we could sleep in the open air, during the rainy season. We'd have to bring all our own food, and make sure to sleep ON our belongings since we'd be, as I mentioned, in the open air. I said no. I needed a roof, walls, and a door that locked. Instead of Turkey, we went to Tzfat with friends. It was lovely. As a wedding gift, Sean's brother, Jeff, had given us an all-inclusive weekend at a hotel in Jerusalem. While using it, we wandered into an art gallery with a lot of work by one of my favorite artists at that time, Avraham Ebgi. Since we had not gone to Turkey, we had a little extra money to spend, and we bought a magnificent Artist's Print by Ebgi of a wedding. It hangs prominently in our dining room, and reminds Sean to be bitter.
I have learned to laugh over the things that make me bitter. Of course my issues tend to repeat themselves. The biggest is Sean's inability to put things back where and how they belong. While this may not seem to be a big deal, it is if those things are canned goods, pots, or the bread machine, and things fall on your head or toes when you open cabinet doors. Over 19 years I have learned to duck quickly. It keeps me agile. That's much better than being bitter.
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