Sean & I have been married for 17.5 years. January 1 is our half year. July 1 will be 18 years. Sean and I met in August 1991. I was dating someone else. Sean stuck around, and by May 1992 we were engaged. Two years later a good friend said to us, "When I heard you were engaged I thought you were nuts. But after watching you for the past two years it's clear it was meant to be." When asked how long we dated I just shrug. Somewhere along the path we just became one.
We've been such a close team that people have actually called us Jon & Shen. yes, that's sad, but true. Even throughout the deployment we function as a team. We talk frequently, sometimes for hours on skype. (What a difference from when my dad-in-law deployed pre-email!) Still, we're clearly different in a lot of ways. People have asked if we disagree on halakah or observance. The answer is rarely, but we seem to come to our decisions in different ways, sometimes vastly different ways. Sean is the mitnagid to my hasid. I feel Judaism in my heart first and work it out in my head second. Sean is the intellectual whose heart follows his head, a mixed marriage to be sure. I've known my connection to God, how it fits in my life, the path I was following from childhood. Sean's was not such a straight line. My family all lived within a small radius (all in the Tri-State area), spending every holiday, and many weekends, together. Sean moved to Virginia as a child, spending his formative years on a Navy base. (It made Sean into an interesting mix of New Yorker and Southerner.) Sean majored in psych ay SUNY Buffalo and Talmud at JTS. I focused on the sociology of the Jewish community and Judaic studies at Brandeis and history at JTS. Together we cover all the bases.
There's a great interaction in the movie Valentine's Day, (cheesy, sweet, chick flick)
Reed- "How'd you know your wife was the right one?"
Alphonso- "Easy, I married my best friend."
Reed- "I thought I was your best friend."
Alphonso- "You're my bro. She's my best friend."
That's the key. We've been best friends almost from the moment we met. He's my b'shert. The differences just make it interesting.
By the way- The Turkey trip- it wasn't not knowing what we'd do there that made me uncomfortable. It was an overnight trip on a deck chair, not knowing where we'd stay, or what we'd eat that made me uncomfortable. We went to Tzfat and bought a beautiful piece of art by Avram Ebgi that we both love, as much for the story as for the art. Yes, I wanted a bed, a locked door at night, and to know I could find food that wouldn't make me sick. Over the years we've learned to balance the security with the unknown. Running water and indoor plumbing is greatly appreciated by all.
