Vayetze- Relationships

V’einei Leah rakot v’Rachel heita yafat toar vifat mar’eh. Va’yeh’ahav Ya’akov et Rachel….

And Leah’s eyes were weak, and Rachel was fair of form and lovely to look at. And Jacob loved Rachel…. (Breishit 29:17-18)

Jacob has left his home having secured his birthright through trickery of his father and brother.  On his way he encounters God.  Recognizing that he was blind to God’s presence in his effort to flee, this encounter sets him on a path of change. But change does not happen overnight. 

Jacob reaches Lavan’s home.  He sees Rachel, and he is smitten.  Jacob’s love is proclaimed throughout the ages.  He works fourteen years for her hand, yet his love is superficial.  He is besotted with her looks.  Of their love the Torah tells us only that “Leah’s eyes were weak, and Rachel was fair of form and lovely to look at. And Jacob loved Rachel.”  Compare this to Isaac’s love for Rebecca.  “And Isaac brought her [Rebecca] into his mother Sarah’s tent, and her took Rebecca, and she became his wife, and he loved her.” (Breishit 24:67) 

Isaac’s love for Rebecca is built upon the life they create together.  As they grow together their love becomes deep and strong.  Together they build a partnership, which serves and supports them throughout their lives.  Theirs is the loving partnership described in Breishit, the ezer k’negdo.

Jacob’s love lacks this depth.  He loves Rachel with a lasting love, one that can withstand the many years he works, but it lacks the support and warmth of his parents.  When difficulties arise Jacob and Rachel are k’neged, antagonists, lacking the ezer, the help they should have for each other.

We are all too often focused on the surface.  We forget that relationships must not just be long, a thing that can be accomplished via Facebook or Twitter, knowing everything, but being involved in nothing.  Our focus becomes the next big thing instead of the solid, enduring reality.  In our world of quick and easy, we need to remember to focus our efforts to the deep and meaningful beyond the tweet. We may be infatuated by the surface, but once past the first impression, we should work together to create the deep relationships that allow us to build entwined lives.