Parashat Shlach Lecha- If You Choose Not To Decide You Still Have Made A Choice

Vatisa kol ha’eidah vayitnu et kolam vayivku ha’am balaila hahu. Vayilonu al Moshe v’al Aharon kol b’nei Yisrael vayomru aleihem kol haeidah lu matnu b’eretz Mitzraiyim o bamidbar hazeh lu matnu.

And the entire congregation lifted their voice and cried, and the people wept that night. And all the children of Israel murmured against Moshe and against Aaron, and the whole congregation said, “If only we had died in the land of Egypt or that we had died in this wilderness.” (B’midbar 14:1-2)

We see time and again that the children of Israel are dissatisfied with their lot. It is not as if they had to go on faith alone; this generation is the generation of miracles. They experience God’s power first-hand. And yet, even having witnessed God’s defeat of Egypt, faced with difficulties, they cannot move forward. They are paralyzed by fear. The spies have just returned with their report. There is no discussion. There is no debate. As one the entire congregation, men, women, and children, lift up their voices to cry out. They do not cry to God. They do not even cry to Moshe or to Aaron. They cry out to no one. Even as one they are alone. Although they have experienced God’s presence, they cannot feel it. They cry alone in the dark. The children of Israel, having grown up in slavery, cannot imagine a different future. A slave cannot make his/her own future. They can wish for freedom, but freedom will likely only come with death. This is a reality they can understand. It is a reality that makes sense in their experience. It is a shared communal experience, one that transcends individual personalities. They were slaves, lacking personal destiny, hopes and dreams. The result is, when faced with a difficult choice, the choice to give up or to fight hard for this changed destiny, they make no choice.

There is a song, by the band Rush, called “Freewill.” It seems as if it could be about our parasha. The last line of the first verse is “blame is better to give than receive.” The chorus goes on, “You can choose a ready guide in some celestial voice. If you choose not to decide you still have made a choice.” You can choose from phantom fears and kindness that can kill. I will choose a path that’s clear, I will choose freewill.” The Israelites choose not to decide. They do not rally behind the spies who gave the negative report. They simply raise their collective voice in a fearful cry. They will not follow God. They will not follow Caleb and Joshua or Moshe and Aaron. In doing so they seek to place blame for their impotence. They murmur against Moshe and Aaron, those who would push them to decide. In doing so they wish for a life where they could make no decisions, the life of a slave, a life without responsibility where death was the only end.

In the end this is what b’nei Yisrael receive. By choosing not to decide they have made a choice to die in the wilderness. This generation is doomed to die before entering the land, victim not so much of divine punishment but of spiritual paralysis.